Are you trying to tell me that the all-encompassing world that is my mother is just my imagination and that she did not, in fact, raise me perfectly only to see me fail miserably again and again because I am a hideous monster baby destined to be alone forever because I am unworthy of love? PSHAW.
Thanks for making space for the complexity of my experience — mothered by a narcissist and now making an effort to be the best adoptive genderqueer mom-parent I can be. Please do be more wary of implying that birthmother “giving up” her baby is an unloving act. There are as many types of adoption stories as there are mothers, some good and some traumatic. We are fortunate to have a good open-adoption relationship with both birthparents.
Thanks for sharing that perspective, Jendi. I certainly didn’t mean to imply that giving up a child as unloving–only that it can *sometimes* feel that way to the adoptee. But I also easily forget about other adoption structures, like your own.Your comment of course makes me think about how there is no ‘The Adoption’, only a diversity of experiences and structures that produce a diversity of emotions.
4 responses to “The moon & the un-mothered”
Are you trying to tell me that the all-encompassing world that is my mother is just my imagination and that she did not, in fact, raise me perfectly only to see me fail miserably again and again because I am a hideous monster baby destined to be alone forever because I am unworthy of love? PSHAW.
I think so…? p.s. xo masked reader, whoever you are!
Thanks for making space for the complexity of my experience — mothered by a narcissist and now making an effort to be the best adoptive genderqueer mom-parent I can be. Please do be more wary of implying that birthmother “giving up” her baby is an unloving act. There are as many types of adoption stories as there are mothers, some good and some traumatic. We are fortunate to have a good open-adoption relationship with both birthparents.
Thanks for sharing that perspective, Jendi. I certainly didn’t mean to imply that giving up a child as unloving–only that it can *sometimes* feel that way to the adoptee. But I also easily forget about other adoption structures, like your own.Your comment of course makes me think about how there is no ‘The Adoption’, only a diversity of experiences and structures that produce a diversity of emotions.