Wanna know how to unlock a Virgo’s heart? Start by taking a shower! You stink! Who’s your ideal partner—and how can you land ‘em? Find out in a personal 20 minute Love reading! P.s. This is a skype or phone reading for new clients only.
Dear Pisces readers, thanks in advance for being sports. In the spirit of Piscean imagination, this post got very silly. If anyone refuses to date you for any of the following reasons, I will personally give them what-for. 1. Pisces is an Addictive Mystery That blur around the edges, it’s the first thing you noticed about him, like Romeo lingering before his play starts. He’s here but not here, your Pisces crush. That distant look made you assume he already had a […]
She falls in love so fast and hard it’s freaky. You picked this one out of the tinder line-up because she sounded like fun—and she is. You had sex on the first date because, well, it was fun. Which is not the same as having a drive through wedding the last time you checked. Yeah but by the time you get home from boning, this one’s written a mega-scrolldown-demanding paean to your incredible mind and how intellectual your dirty talk […]
Categories: Reasons Not To Date Any Sign or Anyone Actually, Sagittarius • Tags: astrological love matches, astrology, Astrology humor, breakups, dark side of Sagittarius, dating, dating advice, heartbreak, love, Sagittarius
1. Your Scorpio Bae Accepts You Completely… “I killed a man just to see him die,” you tell Scorpio bae. “Yeah, I get that,” she says. “That’s not a song quote,” you clarify. “I actually smothered him with a laundry bag. He was my college roommate? It took like five minutes.” “I have dark impulses too,” says bae. “It’s part of being human.” 2. …But She’s Keeping A File On Your Ass. After you cancel on a date for the […]
Dear Seagoat! I am just starting a new relationship. It seems to be going wonderfully. Lots of flirting, lots of sweetness. But then, alas, I looked back at an old relationship that started around June 2012, and ended, flamingly! in fall of 2013. The new relationship seems nice but I’m scared it’s just like the old one, because when I think about it, they all start off nice!…what do the stars say? Please help! — Superlatively Suspicious Scorpio […]
Categories: Dear Seagoat, scorpio • Tags: advice column, astrology advice, break-ups, breakups, dear seagoat, heartbreak, love advice, love trauma, pluto square venus, recovery, romance, scorpio, trust