She catches your eye at the cafe. There’s just something about her, a potentially nuclear radiation of cuteness. You look closer–is that chocolate cake smeared across her chin? Are several thousand squid tentacles squirming from her shoulders? There is no question that she has been exposed to some sort of government experiment, and needs a napkin. And yet, she is proud of her flavor-saver squid bod. Smugly, she sparkles her eyes and you float over, like Pepe le Pew hooked on the perfume of Taurean self-satisfaction.
Tag Archives: Astrology humor
10 Overwhelming Reasons Not To Date A Sagittarius
She falls in love so fast and hard it’s freaky. You picked this one out of the tinder line-up because she sounded like fun—and she is. You had sex on the first date because, well, it was fun. Which is not the same as having a drive through wedding the last time you checked. YeahContinue reading “10 Overwhelming Reasons Not To Date A Sagittarius”
10 Reasons Not To Date A Virgo
#1 – Your Virgo BF notices EVERYTHING. When I say “everything” what I mean is: he notices everything that’s wrong. Which leads me to… #2 – Your Virgo GF wants to fix you. Her drive for perfection is awesome when she’s tinkering with your car engine or proofreading your cover letter. Sort of awesomeContinue reading “10 Reasons Not To Date A Virgo”