Are Tauruses hard to win over? Yes. Do they have high standards? Absolutely. Wouldn’t getting, say, a Sagittarius to fall in love with you be easier? Uh, yeah. But why take the easy way when Tauruses are the sexiest, most babely sign around. Take that bull by the horns with some quick tips from this brand-spanking-new Seagoat Astrology VLOG (aka WAVE OF THE FUTURE). Who’s your ideal partner—and how can you land ‘em? Find out in a personal 20 minute Love reading! P.s. […]
Have a crush on an Aries? Find out how to land that ram in the world’s first Seagoat Astrology VIDEO. (OMG we are getting so futuristic over here!) Who’s your ideal partner—and how can you land ‘em? Find out in a personal 20 minute Love reading! P.s. This is a skype or phone reading for new clients only.
Does the Aquarius even like you? Your crush has an aloof, cool disinterest. If she’s friendly, it’s to the same degree that she’s friendly to the girl who splashed beer on her shoes. If she’s unfriendly, she’s still willing to talk to you. Her distance is vague and alluring. Is she aloof because she’s nervous or because you bore her? Is she crushed out on you or merely willing to lurk beside you at the edge of the dance floor […]
If we are to continue forward, we must find ways to rest, reflect and nourish ourselves. Astrology tells us exactly how to do that. The secret is in our moon sign. Rest and recharge advice for every sign.
1. Can You Please Define ‘Dating’? When you set your sights on that dapper Cappy, better have a detailed answer, because she’ll want to know the terms and conditions of what she’s getting into. Does dating equal no-strings sex? Dinner and a movie? If so, how frequently? Will dating include ice skating and/or dancing? Meeting your parents? Meeting her parents? Will activities be involved that require lessons and/or prior experience? What is the likelihood of injury while dating? After what […]
Read for your sun sign. You can also explore your secret weapons by reading the description of your north node sign (in which case, ignore the Achilles heel). Relevant under all conditions of tyranny. (If you need a little extra help during these times, I’m offering 20 minute Trump emergency planning readings for $10 (just enough to cover costs). Whatever I can offer from astrology to help you figure out how to stay safe and resist, I’ll give you. Contact […]
Categories: Aquarius, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Gemini, Leo, Libra, pisces, Sagittarius, scorpio, taurus, Virgo • Tags: Activism Advice, Astrology of politics, Trump Survival, Zodaic Signs & Mental Health
She falls in love so fast and hard it’s freaky. You picked this one out of the tinder line-up because she sounded like fun—and she is. You had sex on the first date because, well, it was fun. Which is not the same as having a drive through wedding the last time you checked. Yeah but by the time you get home from boning, this one’s written a mega-scrolldown-demanding paean to your incredible mind and how intellectual your dirty talk […]
Categories: Reasons Not To Date Any Sign or Anyone Actually, Sagittarius • Tags: astrological love matches, astrology, Astrology humor, breakups, dark side of Sagittarius, dating, dating advice, heartbreak, love, Sagittarius
1. Your Scorpio Bae Accepts You Completely… “I killed a man just to see him die,” you tell Scorpio bae. “Yeah, I get that,” she says. “That’s not a song quote,” you clarify. “I actually smothered him with a laundry bag. He was my college roommate? It took like five minutes.” “I have dark impulses too,” says bae. “It’s part of being human.” 2. …But She’s Keeping A File On Your Ass. After you cancel on a date for the […]
1. They don’t know they don’t actually like you. You’re on the bus to some awkward office team building exercise, which is already the worst place in the universe to be headed. This Libra sits down next to you. He has cute hair, has somehow managed to make the dorky Team Building Day tee look good on him and he laughs, genuinely, at your jokey-but-serious description of ropes courses as a good place to hang oneself should the need arise. […]