5 Simple Reasons Not to Date A Taurus

She catches your eye at the cafe. There’s just something about her, a potentially nuclear radiation of cuteness. You look closer–is that chocolate cake smeared across her chin? Are several thousand squid tentacles squirming from her shoulders? There is no question that she has been exposed to some sort of government experiment, and needs a napkin. And yet, she is proud of her flavor-saver squid bod. Smugly, she sparkles her eyes and you float over, like Pepe le Pew hooked on the perfume of Taurean self-satisfaction.

10 Melodramatic Reasons Not to Date A Pisces: A Bodice-Ripper

Dear Pisces readers, thanks in advance for being sports. In the spirit of Piscean imagination, this post got very silly. If anyone refuses to date you for any of the following reasons, I will personally give them what-for. 1. Pisces is an Addictive Mystery That blur around the edges, it’s the first thing you noticed about him,... Continue Reading →

11 Complicated Reasons To Either Date Or Not Date A Scorpio

1. Your Scorpio Bae Accepts You Completely… “I killed a man just to see him die,” you tell Scorpio bae. “Yeah, I get that,” she says. “That’s not a song quote,” you clarify. “I actually smothered him with a laundry bag. He was my college roommate? It took like five minutes.” “I have dark impulses... Continue Reading →

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