5 Simple Reasons Not to Date A Taurus

She catches your eye at the cafe. There’s just something about her, a potentially nuclear radiation of cuteness. You look closer–is that chocolate cake smeared across her chin? Are several thousand squid tentacles squirming from her shoulders? There is no question that she has been exposed to some sort of government experiment, and needs a napkin. And yet, she is proud of her flavor-saver squid bod. Smugly, she sparkles her eyes and you float over, like Pepe le Pew hooked on the perfume of Taurean self-satisfaction.

Essential Activism for Taurus!

Taurus, you’ve got mega oomph. Use your charming ways to sway the masses! Support a good cause and find out where your bullish oomph can achieve the best results, plus how to stay healthy, happy and effective while resisting, in a one-on-one $20 RESISTANCE! reading (by phone or Skype). 100% of proceeds will be donated to an awesomeContinue reading “Essential Activism for Taurus!”

How to Woo a Taurus

Are Tauruses hard to win over? Yes. Do they have high standards? Absolutely.  Wouldn’t getting, say, a Sagittarius to fall in love with you be easier? Uh, yeah. But why take the easy way when Tauruses are the sexiest, most babely sign around. Take that bull by the horns with some quick tips from this brand-spanking-newContinue reading “How to Woo a Taurus”

Your Astrological Trump Survival Guide

Read for your sun sign. You can also explore your secret weapons by reading the description of your north node sign (in which case, ignore the Achilles heel). Relevant under all conditions of tyranny. (If you need a little extra help during these times, I’m offering 20 minute Trump emergency planning readings for $10 (justContinue reading “Your Astrological Trump Survival Guide”

Dear Seagoat #4: Crying in the Bathroom (A Rite of Passage)

Dear Seagoat, I am a queer writer living in a not-queer-friendly home, which is home nonetheless. I just graduated from college, so I’m at this weird turning point in my life where I can’t seem to make any decisions. (Why those are connected I have no idea.) Here are the situations that are strangling meContinue reading “Dear Seagoat #4: Crying in the Bathroom (A Rite of Passage)”

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