Do you ever think, I’d like to get so-and-so a present, but she hates B.S. and material objects and loves personal growth and 5,000 year old symbols? Fancy that, my gift-shopping friend. You’ve just described a Seagoat astrology reading in gift certificate form…which happen to be on sale!
Special gift certificate-only prices **from (cyber monday) Nov. 27 – Dec. 10**
Depth reading – $15 off
Integral reading – $20 off
You+Me reading – $40 off
Love or Power mini-reading (for new clients only) – $5 off
Gift certificates can be delivered digitally or in a classy brown paper envelope by mail. They are fully transferable and good forever.
This post originally appeared for my monthly Star-Crossed column on the awesome Little Red Tarot, which publishes a ton of other great stuff about astrology, tarot, queer magic etc, for your reading pleasure.
At one point or another in our lives, everyone gets sucker-punched by someone else’s bad intentions. For people with Pluto strong in their birth charts, betrayal isn’t a one-time life lesson – it’s the story that repeats over and over, undermining your ability to trust.
The other day, a strong-Pluto (aka Plutonian) client in her 30s told me, “I don’t think I’m supposed to have relationships. I’ve shut myself off to that possibility.”
We had been discussing the parts of her life that were going so great: a new programming job that had her solving interesting, difficult, useful problems; organizing for a voting rights project; being part of a fabulous community; living in an apartment she loved; the sly-eyed tortoiseshell cat who strolled across her keyboard as we talked. She seemed and felt on top of her game, except in one specific area: intimacy.
I’ve shut myself off to that possibility.That was Pluto speaking – or rather the voice of a person with Pluto strong in her chart. She’d been badly hurt and told herself it was because she was unlovable, cursed, doomed from birth. To gain control over her monstrous desire for love, she decided to close that door. On the day I spoke with her, she’d been leaning hard against it for over a decade, fighting to keep the monster locked away.
But the simple fact that she said those words to another human being is evidence that the monster was getting ready to break the door down.
Pluto is the oozy twenty-tentacled beast under your bed.
It’s the sense that your own shadow is stalking you. It’s the undertone in your lover’s voice that makes you suddenly sure she’s cheating. It’s the silent flare of rage that makes you hit unfriend on your BFF’s Facebook page.
Transits from Pluto to a sensitive point in the natal chart are often responsible for our most devastating break-ups, the ones in which we find our mouths full of death metaphors: she killed me, I died, no idea how I survived it, after that everything went dark for a long time.
Aspects from Pluto to personal points in the natal chart can reveal the vestiges of abuse, the bruises that seem never to fade. It can reveal the family scars of slavery, exile, rape, ethnic cleansing, and on and on. Pluto aspects make us hyper-aware of power dynamics, secrets, and what other people are really up to. Major Pluto aspects to Venus, the Ascendant, and the Moon make relationships incredibly intense, deep – and often so scary or painful, we don’t want to go there at all (yet keep getting drawn back in).
If this sounds like you, you’ve probably got either a strong Pluto or 8th house – or Venus, Mars, or Moon in Scorpio. Pluto symptoms include paranoia and a sense that in love or close friendship, you get swallowed up by jealousy, hungry-like-a-wolf sexual intensity, neediness, manipulation, or those dark bad feelings you’ve tried to keep buried.
Pluto isn’t really a monster – or if it is, it’s a useful and necessary monster.
Those ‘it killed me’ breakups are the ones that got us to quit our crappy job, move away from home finally, or quit dating sociopaths. Pluto-brand crises get us in touch with what we really care about and force us to feel and confront the old hurts that are ready to begin to heal.
When I was first learning about astrology, I convinced myself that if I got my life lived ‘right’, I could get over my long list of personal failings. When I started counseling others, I thought if I showed them how to live their lives right, they’d get over their issues and be happy and healthy, and I would have saved them. It’s embarrassing to write it out like that now, and sad to think I believed people had to be fixed in order to be whole.
Monsters scare us because we’ve shoved them so far into the shadows that we imagine they look and act much worse than they actually are.
That twenty-tentacled beast under your bed really weighs twenty ounces; what you thought was a growl, was only its fearful mewling. Learning to be whole with Pluto is about crawling underneath your bed with your monster, holding one of its slimy flippers in your hand and letting it confide its garbled, hairy secrets. Another way to say this: stop fighting the fear and sit with that horrible, awful, no-good part of yourself. There’s a scared kid in their somewhere who wants to be seen, heard, understood and accepted, just as it is, brokenness and all.
To the Plutonian client who had given up on relationships, I said what I always say, what I’ve gleaned from Pluto’s tutelage: though Plutonians often feel doomed to relationship misery, they have the greatest gift for intimacy that astrology can offer.
Plutonian need reveals a Plutonian capacity for depth. Plutonian self-hatred can grow into a skill for accepting others without judgment. Plutonian fear teaches us to be truthful with those we love. Plutonian pain means you’ve already survived the worst; why not try again?
Plutonians who have befriended their monsters and brought good love into their lives have the kinds of rock-solid, deep-loving relationships the rest of the world envies.
A Pluto meditation from one of my teachers:
Why do folks talk about trust like it means absolute trust? Trust a person like you’d trust an old staircase. Take it slowly. At each step, pause. Ask: can it hold my weight? If it holds strong and you want to, try the next step.
My brain likes to follow this with an E. L. Doctorow quote about writing. It might as well be about love or any other journey into the unknown.
“Writing a novel is like driving at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole journey that way.”
Thrilled to have my first-ever horoscopes up at Refinery29, and especially loving the awesome original art they paired with each sign.
Even beyond its pagan and pre-hispanic significance (thinning of the veil and all that), this next week’s gonna be pretty intense (culminating with the last hit of 2017’s Chiron-Saturn square on Nov. 2), so buckle your seatbelts. How should you handle it? Find out here.
P.S. I’ll be posting ridiculous costume suggestions for your sign on the Seagoat FB page tomorrow.
This post originally appeared on the Little Red Tarot, which gets first dibs on every Star-Crossed column. Follow Star-Crossed and keep up with other great LRT reads here!
If you know a little bit about astrology, you probably know that your Moon sign is just as important as your Sun. It makes sense that the Sun sign gets all the attention – the Sun represents the shiny part of us, the ways we want to be seen. The Moon describes our more private, on-the-couch-in-our-sweatpants-cuddling side. In love, the Moon shows how we give and receive nurturing, as well as the basic stuff that makes us happy or at least comfortable in our day-to-day lives.
During the year we turn 27*, the Moon in our progressed (read: evolving) chart comes full circle to meet the Moon in our birth chart.
That might sound like a bunch of astro-jargon, but what it boils down to is this: at age 27, the planets ask us to become our own mama. This means getting real about our needs and asking ourselves, “Am I happy living like this?”
Surprise surprise, the progressed lunar return (PLR) can set off explosions in close friendships, especially those with people who remind you of your original mother figure, and partnerships. Heartache is par for the course, though some lucky people have a blast during this period. (It’s okay to hate them a little for it. They’re having so much fun they won’t notice.) How we hold those we love, how we want to be held, how close we actually want to be – all undergo the kind of nausea-inducing scrutiny that can make us fear we must choose between our self-care and the one(s) in whose hearts and familiar skin smells we make our home.
Relationships with room for growth will only become stronger as a result of the emotional home renovations. Others will fall apart. This is okay. To love better, we must begin by loving ourselves as well as we can, with kindness, patience and willingness to say “no” to what keeps on feeling bad.
Because we are all different, your PLR might be about a lot more than intimate relationships. Look up the house position of your natal Moon** and then see below to find out where your biggest changes will be happening during your next PLR.
*This process repeats, with a more mature flavor, at ages 54 and 81. Reflecting back on what happened at the previous progressed lunar return will help you know how to handle this one for the healthiest possible outcome.
Your whole self-image is in flux. This can lead to upsets and serious emo-ness every time you have to go out in public or do anything new. If gender identity or sexual orientation questions have been lurking, now is the time to take those feelings seriously.
Moon in the 2nd House
Oh crap, money! Get a handle on how you handle the material world in general and cashflow in particular. In astrology, how we relate to $$ is (one) outer expression of our core values. Where money issues like shame, envy, erratic spending/saving habits, never enough $$ to take of yourself, overindulgence pop up, pay attention to where your value system might need some special nurturing. One big question here is: do you truly value your inner child?
Moon in the 3rd House
Let’s talk about communication. You naturally speak and write from your emotions, which sometimes leads to inconsistency and confusion. You need language, and now is the time to grow up about how you use it, so others understand what you mean. If you’re a writer who doesn’t write, now is the time to put words to your memories and emotional impressions.
Moon in the 4th House
The Moon rules the 4th house, which means you can double-underline everything above about the PLR. Up for renovations are your physical home, your memories of childhood, instinctive behavior, family of origin issues and, especially, mom or the lack thereof. It’s not easy for you to get enough distance for clarity about these parts of your life, but during your PLR you can trust your gut sense to feel through what needs understanding.
Moon in the 5th House
How are your creative life and relationships to kids going? Time to get back to art, make that baby you’ve been dreaming of, and spend time with the children who bring out your sense of play. Expect either turmoil or deep connection on the dating front. In either case, you’re figuring out how to flirt and play your way towards good love.
Moon in the 6th House
Might be time for a new job, or new routine that better suits your natural rhythms. Review whether you’re either giving or expecting too much in these areas, and be real about your needs. Health issues can pop up now, so get a check up just to be safe. If you don’t like your doctor or don’t have one, it’s time for a change.
Moon in the 7th House
For you it really IS all about relationships. Especially relationship boundaries (they don’t come easily to you). Where do you feel used and sucked dry? Where do you revert to childish helplessness and expect to be taken care of? You have a natural skillset for bonding and compromise. These gifts will lead to nurturing, peaceful relationships once you’ve learned to be your own best friend first.
Moon in the 8th House
Ssssex is on the agenda! Solo sex, fantasy sex, kinky play, deep-ass hook-ups – whatever you’re up, the practice is to feel into where you connect and where you disconnect. You’re a natural shadow-spelunker, diving headlong into your and others’ dark sides. Now, more than ever, dare to love (and take care of) yourself as fiercely as you know how to harm yourself. If death sings her siren songs at you this year, find thee an awesome therapist. (In the short run, this is what crisis lines are for. Allow yourself the comfort of human understanding.) You’ve traveled so far emotionally in your life that you can handle anything, but you’ve been hurt and those hurts accumulate. Now’s the time to be the alchemist of yourself. Turn that pain to gold, my dear. Swim up from the deep with your treasure, so you can heal others.
Moon in the 9th House
Are you giving yourself enough adventure-cations or are you just stuck in a perpetual dissatisfaction cycle? Are you indulging your love of learning or just falling in love with people who live a million miles away? You might think you need to turn your life upside down to be happy, but chances are you just need more spice (and opportunities for expansion) in your day-to-day. Dream big, and then execute those dreams in the smallest possible way first.
Moon in the 10th House
You’ve somehow always been more visible than other people, which can be a gift and a burden. Explore how much of your truest self is coming out in your career and public life. Are you letting your boss/audience/community/father/mother project all their crap on you? Are you bending yourself to fit what you feel is needed from you? You’re not the world’s mommy, but now’s the time to be your own. A career change may well be due. Ideally, one that lets your nurturing, imaginative, feeling side take center stage.
Moon in the 11th House
Expect major changes in your friendships, community, chosen family and political ideals. If you tend to have leaky boundaries (or codependent behaviors) with your peeps, pay attention to how that’s making you feel. Sadness, confusion, fears that you aren’t okay without them are all signs that you need to shift things. This is a great time to get involved in an organized, active political movement that allows you to bond with others around a shared need for a better future.
Moon in the 12th House
You have a history of hiding out, from yourself as well as others. When alone, you have the capacity to touch that big, formless energy some people call God and others call Art or Dream. Unfortunately, the habit of only letting your guard down, only letting yourself have needs, only letting yourself inhabit your nurturing or creative side when you’re in hiding can make you fall apart physically and psychologically. Compulsive behavior and loneliness are both red flags that you are living with your heart in a locked closet. Now or never, time to take the risk of letting others in and letting that big beautiful love-art-god stuff you channel out.
What do you need to understand to navigate the changing waters of this time of life? Schedule a one-on-one Integral reading by phone or video chat for insight on how to forge happiness, meaning and love from the ingredients of your natal chart.
Dear Pisces, have you been drinking or smoking too much, watching too much netflix or lying around feeling sorry for yourself? Sensitivity overwhelm (and the need to escape) happens when you don’t know what to do with your natural compassion. Once you decide to give yourself to a cause, though, the love and devotion pours right through you.
Support a good cause and find out how your Piscean heart can heal what’s broken, plus how to keep your activist-self healthy, happy and effective, in a one-on-one $20 RESISTANCE! reading (by phone or Skype). 100% of proceeds will be donated to an awesome non-profit working for immigration justice.
Dear Aquarius, with your Sun in the sign of humanitarian ideals, you NEED to join forces with a like-minded, future-oriented group to be happy. So what’s getting in your way?
Support a good cause and find out where your Aquarian insight can instigate real change, plus how to keep your activist-self healthy, happy and effective, in a one-on-one $20 RESISTANCE! reading (by phone or Skype). 100% of proceeds will be donated to an awesome non-profit working for immigration justice.
Dear Capricorn, you have a gift for turning collective inspiration into concrete structural change. All you gotta do is figure out how your activism will fit into your larger goals.
Support a good cause and find out where your Capricornian wisdom can be best applied, plus how to keep your activist-self healthy, happy and effective, in a one-on-one $20 RESISTANCE! reading (by phone or Skype). 100% of proceeds will be donated to an awesome non-profit working for immigration justice.
Dear Sagg, you burn bright, you fight hard, you don’t mind getting dirty, you can do it forever—assuming there’s a larger sense of meaning at work. P.s. remember to recharge!
Support a good cause and find out where to set up your Sagittarian soapbox, plus how to keep your activist-self healthy, happy and effective, in a one-on-one $20 RESISTANCE! reading (by phone or Skype). 100% of proceeds will be donated to an awesome non-profit working for immigration justice.
Dear Scorpio, all my best ideas for you are illegal. 🙂
Support a good cause and find out where your Scorpio power can be best directed, plus how to keep your activist-self healthy, happy and effective, in a one-on-one $20 RESISTANCE! reading (by phone or Skype). 100% of proceeds will be donated to an awesome non-profit working for immigration justice.