Are Cancers Emotional Disaster Areas?


Your sun is way more than just a sign! Find out about how your sun sign fits in with your moon, rising sign and house positions in a personal 20-minute Power reading.

The Moon Is For Lovers: Living With Your Lunar Self

This is Part II of a 3-part series on the moon in relationships. Part I explored why the moon is the most important relationship planet. Part III will be a deep dive into each moon sign’s intimacy styles, what you need from your loved ones, and what they need more of from you.


For quick insight into your love life, skip Venus and head straight to the Moon.

As I wrote last month, the Moon – planet of personal needs, nurturing/nesting style, and your inner child – determines how you behave in your closest relationships.

You may have noticed how drastically behavior changes when you start shacking up with a sweetie (or co-habitating with a bestie). The day you leave your back-up toothbrush at her place, edges begin to blur. You throw a random temper tantrum, or she does. The fashion trends shift from sexy leopard cut-offs and high-heeled boots to PJs and bedhead. You cuddle more and reveal more and become both more familiar and more inscrutable to each other.

These are the signs that you’re moving in together – into Moon-dominant mode, that is.

For some people, this phase is the epitome of comfort. Cancers, whose ruling planet is the Moon, tend to especially gravitate toward the cozying-up security of co-habitation. Gravitating toward something doesn’t mean it’s easy, though. Even for lunar-led types who dread having to be ‘on’, moving to the Moon with another person dredges up mommy issues and infantile behaviors most of us would rather avoid. The more difficulty you have with your moon (aka feelings) in general, the more likely this stage will make you freak.

Intimacy issues are actually a big, blinking red light that you need to pause and look at your Moon.

Typical manifestations of Moon issues in a new co-living set-up:

  • Moodiness, esp. hot and cold. (“Get away from me! Wait, that’s too far!”)
  • Clinginess (“What are you doing?” “How about now?” “And now?”)
  • Deciding the relationship doesn’t work anymore – after like 25 minutes – and your explanation for why sounds suspiciously rational.
  • Going cold. Not feeling close to the other person.
  • Feeling like your sweetie is turning into your parent or your sibling.
  • Being cute together 100% of the time and sexy 0% of the time.
  • Stopping pursuit of your own goals. Feeling threatened by your sweetie’s pursuit of theirs.

Because the Moon expresses our child-selves, it’s easy to feel helpless when these issues come up. We feel too comfortable  or too small to control ourselves and the result is passivity. Our relationships can become stifling and come apart without us understanding what we could have done to change things.

Bad lunar-relationship hangovers can keep us running from love, but it doesn’t need to be that way.

A healthy relationship (therapists and besties count) is one of the most effective places for healing your inner child and learning how to handle your feelings. As the real moon waxes and wanes, your astrological moon is always open to change – it just needs some conscious guidance.

Below is a cheat sheet to your best and worst relationship selves. Check back in January for tips on how to integrate those best and worst selves into a healthy whole.

[Find your Moon sign here.]

Aries Moon
Best:
 The first to say, “I love you”, emotional dare-devil.
Worst: Self-centered do-it-alone-r.

Taurus Moon
Best: Loyal and sensual queen.
Worst: Selfish and possessive queen.

Gemini Moon
Best: A chill, play-making machine.
Worst: Nonstop, anxious chatterbox.

Cancer Moon
Best: Sweet and vulnerable mama-bear.
Worst: Manipulative nightmare.

Leo Moon
Best: Big-hearted magic-maker.
Worst: Sucks up all the emotional space.

Virgo Moon
Best: Smart and gentle healer.
Worst: Nitpicking martyr.

Libra Moon
Best: Kind and even-keeled partner-in-pleasure.
Worst: Codependent manipulator.

Scorpio Moon
Best: Deep, real, and all-in for a journey through shadows and fire.
Worst: Paranoid withholder of intimacy.

Sagittarius Moon
Best: The MacGyver of fun.
Worst: World-promising ghost-er.

Capricorn Moon
Best: As genuine as it gets, as committed as it gets, as deep as it gets.
Worst: Harsh on everyone, including self.

Aquarius Moon
Best: Brilliant in-house psychoanalyst.
Worst: Armchair partner, viewing relationship from the sidelines.

Pisces Moon
Best: Uncanny empath, bonding from the soul, accepting the other warts & all.
Worst: Selective-rememberer who refuses to be held accountable.

Images by Migueltzinta Solis.


Find out how your lunar habits tie-in with the rest of your personality (and how to help them flow together better) in a one-on-one Power reading.

Your February Horoscope

With an incoming Pisces emphasis and a mid-month square between Mars and Neptune, February will be a dreamy, sleepy, imaginative month–with a higher-than-usual risk of catching a cold. Fortify your immune system and increase actions and thoughts that bring out your compassion and sense of loving connection.

Read more, and dig into the best February 2018 practices for your birth sign on Refinery29.

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You can keep up with your weekly and monthly horoscopes when they come out by bookmarking this page.

Your 2018 Horoscope!

I peeped into my crystal ball. Read what’s in store for you here

P.S. All next year, I will be writing weekly and monthly horoscopes for Refinery29. You can always find the latest at http://www.refinery29.com/horoscope.

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(Image by Migueltzinta Solis)

The Moon is for Lovers: Will the Real Love Planet Please Stand Up?

This is Part I of a 3-part series on the moon in relationships that originally appeared on the Little Red Tarot. Part II explores how your moon sign impacts your relationship with partners you live with. Part III will be a deep dive into each moon sign’s intimacy styles, what you need from your loved ones, and what they need more of from you.

In your natal chart, the two most important bodies are the Sun and the Moon, aka the luminaries.

The Sun represents our conscious self, our will, our talents – the stuff we want badly to be recognized for. Example: a Libra acts like a Libra, because she wants people to see her as being fair. The Moon is the Sun’s equally-weighted opposite, it’s partner-in-crime and competitor for our attention. The Moon describes our inner self, what we need rather than what we want, what we do automatically, how we comfort ourselves and others.

It’s a huge revelation to learn about your Moon sign for the first time. It’s soooo different to be just another Leo than to be a Leo with a Scorpio Moon. Suddenly, it makes sense why you avoid the Leo spotlight – because your inner Scorpio self doesn’t want its secrets exposed.

Will the real love planet please stand up?

There are ten planets and several sensitive points in our birth charts; every single one shapes our relationships.

We make flirty eyes from our Ascendant. We date from our egocentric Sun. We make moves (or don’t) from animalistic Mars. We decide what kind of relationship we want with rational Venus. And we bond from our needy, loving, cuddly Moon.

You know you’re in a lunar relationship – one with your Moon calling the shots – when you say “I don’t need to be ‘on’ with you.” The difference between a best friend and a regular one is how much time you spend in Moon-mode around that person. It’s also the difference between ‘seeing someone’/’chilling’/’hanging out’ and feeling like you’re in a ‘real’ relationship.

Those differences – the shift from Sun or Mars to Moon, from acting on purpose to responding automatically – are what make being close to another human being so tricky. The problems that come up in Lunar relationships are harder to figure out, and the hurt, when it happens, goes way deeper. Of course, anyone who’s ever stayed up all night snacking and smoking and crying with their bestie knows the benefits are better too.

Mommy issues

We grow into each part of our birth chart at different ages. The Moon, our needy bonding-happy infant self, is one of the first pieces to emerge. The Moon also represents our mother. Not exactly our mother – rather the mother we believe we have (including absent mothers, dads-as-mothers and sometimes an auntie or grandma), and therefore the mother we end up carrying with us, inside, into adulthood.

We respond to our own feelings and to our loved one’s needs in a way that matches that first nurturing. Not that it will be an exact copy. A Cancer Moon kid might have a super happy childhood, always feeling loved and protected, and grow up to smother everyone they ever date. Or they could enjoy their cozy inner world so much they feel no need to get closer to others.

This is where that free will stuff comes in: What version of your Moon sign do you want to be? Which one will really make you happy?


You can find out how your lunar habits tie-in with the rest of your personality (and how to help them flow together better) in a one-on-one Power reading with yours truly.

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