9 Fast Reasons Not To Date An Aries

…And 1 That You’ll Do It Anyway

1. Aries Doesn’t Care What You Think
Aries lady blasts into the room in a loud dress, with big hair, talking so loud you heard her from halfway up the block. She is either stomping in heels or carrying an overlarge object or mid-announcement of whatever plan she’s currently chewing on. “Tell me your opinion,” she says. You tell her you have concerns about the overlarge object, the plan, the damage she’s surely doing to her arches. “Mm,” she says and stomps on as if you’d said nothing, because, face it, she was going to go through with it anyway, she was just being social. (Yes, this is kind of hot.)

rams give no fucks
two rams don’t give a fuck (from pixabay)

2. Aries Does Whatever They Want, Emphasis on “Do”
Here’s what your Aries sweetie did yesterday afternoon:

  • Ate two gallons of ice cream (on a dare)
  • Punched a guy for being rude
  • Canned a shelf full of raspberries
  • Recreated Michaelangelo’s David out of used milk cartons
  • Spent your shared savings account on a sports car
  • Learned how to fix said car, then did it
  • Rescued a kitten from a tree
  • Led an uprising

“Why?” you ask. Aries shrugs. “Felt like it.” “Wanna cuddle with me?” you say. “Sure,” they say, “Just let me cross a few things off my list first.”

3. Are You Even Dating This Aries, or Just Regularly Having Sexual Contact In Awkward Places With Your Clothes Still On?
“Same difference,” says Aries girl, hiking up her undies.

With a bod this fine, what did you expect? (from Wikimedia Commons)

4. Aries = Short Attention Span Factory
Your Aries BF, who you’re reading this aloud to, stopped listening around, oh, bullet point number one.

5. Aries is a Ram in Your China Shop
You have emotions. It bugs you when your Aries boo splits because you’re 5 minutes late. It hurts when they roll their eyes and tell you to stop being “clingy”. You feel angry and helpless when the money you guys had set aside together turns into a porsche. (Yes, you love the Porsche. That is beside the point!) It’s not that Aries boo doesn’t care about your feelings, it’s just they keep forgetting your feelings exist.

Rams Headbutt Animals Sheep Nature Competition
Oh, was that yours? (from maxpixel)

6. Aries is Self-Centered
Aries lady knocks you out of the way getting to the table to grab the last beer. It’s not that she doesn’t care about your beer needs, she just sometimes forgets they (you) exist.

7. You Get Left in Aries’ Dust
“Why do I always have to do everything?” gripes Aries boy, pointing out the carpet he vacuumed, the bills he paid, the dog he walked, the shelves he built, the dinner party he so flamboyantly hosted. You can’t argue with the results, but given that he accomplished all of the above while you were mid-sneeze, it’s hard to know when you could have helped out.

8. Aries REALLY Do Whatever They Want
You walk in on Aries bae mid-part-clothed, definitely not condoned fuck with the milkman. Aries bae is defensive, but not in the slightest embarrassed by the milkman-screwing cliché. Aries bae’s only shame is having lied. Bae shrugs at the fact they cheated on you: you’ve been letting them down for too long they say. Their bag was packed yesterday.

ram sneer pixabay
(From pixabay)

9. Aries is Already Over You
It’s been a few months. Prime time for some sad, i-miss-you-but-lets-be-honest-this-can-never-work sex. Aries gal is down to bone. Afterwards, she pecks you on the cheek, no sparkle of sorrow in her eye. “This was fun,” she says. The worst part? She means it.

10. Let’s Face It, Aries is Worth It
All the traits that make Aries obnoxious, frustrating and difficult, also make them charming, hot, easy and—really—trustworthy. With Aries boo, what you see is what you get. Yeah, they’re mainly thinking about themselves, but that means when their attention is on you, it’s cause that’s the only place they want it to be. There are no ulterior motives. If she stands you up, it’s not revenge, she just forgot. And she really does feel bad about it. Life will always be fun and busy at your Aries’ side, with his heart as simple and brightly burning as a kid’s. Once Aries boo figures out how to include you, they are delighted to find out how much easier and kinder life is with a pardner along for their wild ride.

Who’s your ideal partner—and how can you land ‘em? Find out in a personal 20 minute Love reading! P.s. This is a skype or phone reading for new clients only. Established clients can find out more about what’s going on in their relationships in a Depth session.

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