Your Astrological Trump Survival Guide


Read for your sun sign. You can also explore your secret weapons by reading the description of your north node sign (in which case, ignore the Achilles heel). Relevant under all conditions of tyranny.

(If you need a little extra help during these times, I’m offering 20 minute Trump emergency planning readings for $10 (just enough to cover costs). Whatever I can offer from astrology to help you figure out how to stay safe and resist, I’ll give you. Contact me here to schedule.)


Nickname – The Warrior
Superpower – Bullet-like reflexes. Confidence-spreader. Springs into action without hesitation.
Why we need you right now – As soon as the results came in, many of you were already beginning to strategize for the fight to come. While the rest of us mill around shell-shocked, you ready yourself, aim and fire. (If this is not you, Aries, it needs to become you or you’ll lose your mind.)
How to get us moving – Help us catch up with you by sharing your confidence. Remind us that we can handle it–and then tell us how to start. You’re the leader we need.
Achilles Heel – Starting a new battle when you’re still fighting the old one. Going too fast for your followers to keep up. Proceeding without understanding the opposing perspective.


Nickname – The Root System
Superpower – You cling like a barnacle and barrel forth like a bull. Ability to weather any storm by hanging onto what is good.
Why we need you right now – No matter the political drama of the day, you know that what’s important is always close by if we just slow down to notice: nature, good food, our bodies, loyal friends and fam, and the values that are as much a part of us as breathing. You help us find the power that comes from the root system up.
How to fortify us – Host a weekly brunch, invite your buddies out dancing or get people together to take on a single important project that will reinforce our bonds.
Achilles Heel – Refusing to adapt to a new situation even when there’s no choice. Being mean because you’re scared. Obsessing over what you could lose instead of strategizing for how to increase what you have.


Nickname – The Busy Bee
Superpower – In sixteen places at once. Unquenchable curiosity. Turns half-empty glasses into half-full ones.
Why we need you right now – At a time when half the country is trying to figure out what the heck just happened, you’re already exploring every point-of-view, all the whats, whys, whos and hows. On an essential level, you love that people think differently from each other (even if sometimes that thinking is maddeningly illogical)–that’s what makes us so interesting. Now, you’re using that mental ambidexterity to find the openings for positive change.
How to wake us up – Ask us! Use your facebook, twitter, phone and lunch hour as informal conference spaces–for asking good questions, clarifying our emotion-soaked brains and spreading smart ideas.
Achilles Heel – Information overload. Trying to do EVERYTHING instead of prioritizing the things that matter. Forgetting to listen.


Nickname – Mr. Feels/Big Momma
Superpower – Emotion ninja. Empathy wizard. Turns big feelings into powerful creations. Gives great hugs.
Why we need you right now – On the quietest day, you can be swept away by rage and sadness. You understand what feelings are, how they work–and that their force can fuel art and close relationships. The rest of us don’t get this at all and we’re freaking out. Scared as you might be right now, you’re the sturdiest ship in this Trumpian feeling-storm. You know that before action comes just being and seeing, and that slowing down prevents pointless tantrums.
How to hold us – By reaching out to friends and fam and giving us space to cry and shout, you make it okay to be human. Because you say you’re scared, we can say it–and know it–too. All of your feeding, listening, cuddling and comforting helps us find the solid ground we need for action.
Achilles Heel – Overindulgence. Clinging. Delaying the creative action stage too long.


Nickname – Prince/ss Dynamite
Superpower – Make even fighting fun. Confident leader who loves your followers. Creative responses to impossible situations. Entertainer.
Why we need you right now – You can turn a double serving of crap on toast into art supplies. Getting mad makes you more creative and pretty soon, you’ve got a plan. Whether starting a YouTube series of Trump impressions, throwing the Black Lives Matter fundraising party to end all fundraising parties or tweetstorming pictures of your cat looking blase about it all, the world can’t keep you down for long.
How to make us happy again –  Use your sense of humor and play to dial down the serious factor enough that we can face what’s happening. Inspire our confidence with compliments and messages of hope. Use your love and belief in people’s goodness to show us how to unite instead of divide.
Achilles heel – Pointless drama. Avoiding or denying hard truths when they make you question your faith in people.


Nickname – The Problem Solver
Superpower – Work ethic til the sun comes up. Solution-finder. Broken thing-fixer. Genius analyst. Helper extraordinaire.
Why we need you right now – The more broken something is, the more diligent you are in finding a way to fix it. You regard our broken country in terms of its individual damaged, rusty, bent parts, asking what each one should and can do and how to make it do it better. Your response to discouragement and defeat is to roll up your sleeves, find a job and pitch in. With you behind the scenes, there’s real possibility of recovery and improvement.
How to help us fix this – De-stress your friends by taking them to the gym or by making healthy food deliveries. Be the brains of the operation, showing social orgs what isn’t working and explaining how to improve.
Achilles heel – Being motivated by guilt instead of love. Moral high ground. Worrying yourself sick.


Nickname – The Advocate
Superpower – Sees both sides. Kindness. Social skills like a motherfucker. Justice-maker.
Why we need you right now – Depressed as you get when bullies win, you are the one who can reach across the divide and restore balance. In this election, many people were motivated by fear, anger and a desire for revenge. That’s pretty tough for a Libra to grok, because what motivates you is peace, fairness and the beautiful things in life, like art and vodka tonics. Thing is, you understand people better than it might feel like you do right now. You know that we all want to those things, that we all want the pleasures of social harmony. You are the one who can point us back towards these shared values and balance the hate with love, the fearful action with sweet clarity.
How to make America fair (again?) – Advocate for the most vulnerable.. Foster conversations that get people listening and collaborating. Volunteer for arts & communication roles in justice-oriented and feminist orgs.
Achilles Heel – Avoiding taking a side. Hiding out from the ugliness instead of trying to turn it back to beauty.


Nickname – The Power Player
Superpower – Sees through bullshit. Understands darkness & can transform it. Has nine lives.
Why we need you right now – You alone, Scorpio, understand why people want to follow Trump. You get fear and can look hate coolly in the face. You know how hungry people are to be close to power, how the desire to be safe lives cozily alongside the desire to hurt and punish. You also know that ‘IT’ can always happen here. Your psychological insight might not bode well for your sleep habits in 2017, but it’s absolutely essential for defeating tyranny.
How to transform us – Normally, we’d be afraid to hear what you Scorpios know, but in times of crisis, we need your x-ray vision. Walk us down into our own dark hearts and into the passageways of history, showing us how to be unafraid of our shadow selves. Help us transform into the people who can face this moment without hiding in self-soothing optimisms.
Achilles heel – Self-destruction. Monster guilt. Punishing others. Keeping what you know and feel to yourself.


Nickname – The Inspirationist
Superpower – Can pull anyone out of a funk. Restores faith in humanity. Truth-teller.
Why we need you right now – Even if the election has you despairing, you know how to bounce back. Your buoyant love for human beings will pull you back up. When it does, you’ll pull the rest of us up with you. If it angers you to see a megalomaniac unite people behind lies and fear, use your teacher-preacher voice to unite us behind truth and hope.
How to inspire us – Spend time with people from other cultures and backgrounds to restore your faith in our common truths, then share what you’ve learned. Give us something positive to unite for so we aren’t stuck on the defensive.
Achilles heel – Know-it-all-ness. Moral superiority. Mixing up principles with people.


Nickname – The Subtle Architect
Superpower – Sees reality for what it is. 10 steps ahead. Structural magician. Survivor.
Why we need you right now – While everyone is running around like half-murdered chickens, you use your anxiety to fuel planning and strategy. Slow burn is the name of your game. You might not be leaping into action yet, but you are figuring out what will be needed after the election shock fades and the deeper dismantling of the government begins. You might not look like much right now, but in a year or two when others’ energy is waning, you’ll be keeping us going, slow and steady, toward our goal of better, healthier, more agile movements–and government.
How to prepare us for the worst – Look into the future to see what the likely dangers are for yourself, community, country and world. Figure out who and how you can help and what structures, collaborations and resources you’ll need to do it. Then start drafting plans.
Achilles heel – Freezing up in panic. Pushing yourself too hard. Trying to hold it together when you need to cry.


Nickname – The Rebel (Cause Optional)
Superpower – Unshockable. Future-seer. Glue of groups. Makes sense of the senseless.
Why we need you right now – You alone keep your footing in an earthquake–maybe because you’re already floating a few inches off the ground. That slightly above it all perspective helped you see this one coming or at least allows you to understand it in retrospect. Your rational outlook, ease with groups and humanitarianism are the necessary ingredients to fuel progressive movements that can confront this brave new world.
How to move us forward – What is your highest ideal–and how is it at risk during the Age of Trump? Whether it’s freedom of speech, net neutrality or trans rights, find or form a group that is ready to resist–and to use the chaos of change to fuel dramatic progress that wasn’t possible before the election.
Achilles heel – Identifying with what you’re against instead of what you’re for. Failure to commit.


Nickname – Basically Jesus
Superpower – Compassion. Selflessness. Mystic visionary. One with everything.
Why we need you right now – Sometimes the world is too mean. You might want to bury yourself in books, Netflix and booze, dream yourself into a better place until 2020. But all you need to do to shake off your funk is focus on those more vulnerable than you. Good thing, because we hella need your heart and soul in this game, reminding us that government is as temporary and shallow as our mortality. What matters–spirit, love, art, music, the wholeness of the universe–cannot be bruised or broken. This is the vision you hold, Pisces. Bring it to us.
How to save us – Who does your heart hurt for? That’s who you need to go to. Find a calling in this dark time and give yourself over to it completely–within healthy reason, of course. (Taking us along to your meditation class wouldn’t hurt either.)
Achilles heel – Addiction & escapism. Equating suffering with love. Abandoning your own boundaries.

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31 thoughts on “Your Astrological Trump Survival Guide

  1. So relieved that all that may be expected of me in terms of political action is hosting some kickass brunches! I’m so on that! 😉 Great read – may all the signs unite around a much better future.

  2. Wait. So what if your north node is the same as your sun sign? What is your secret weapon then and can you ignore your Achilles heel?

  3. This is brilliant. I love how reading them all together gives us a community of being and action.

    1. That’s so nice to hear, Anne. I wrote this from the pit of despair in the days after the election with the wish that it could somehow be useful (or at least entertaining) to others. It’s a wonderful surprise that so many have connected to it. The solidarity gives me hope that we may be able to move forward together out of this dark political night, toward some good transformation.

    1. Sort of? These are written with people who want to do good in mind, which I doubt includes DT. The scatterbrainedness, ability to see things from all sides and turn a negative situation into a positive one (at least for himself) DEFINITELY do, don’t you think?? That’s what makes him such a good liar–and so unreliable. Probably what makes him able to recover so easily from what seem like politically fatal blows too, I’d guess. Ultimately his (and all of our) sun signs are just one piece of a big picture.

  4. As a Pisces with north node Virgo I think this is awesome. You reminded me not to sink into the misery and be so overwhelmed with the energy, and there are things I can…we can all…do. We aren’t helpless, and it is just unfortunate that people will be hurt…sigh. Thanks for this!

  5. Thank you, Luke Dani Blue. Now, I did find my North Node and it is the same as my Sun Sign. So then I have to ask if, according to this I have no secret weapons? Or how does the puzzle piece of the North Node fit in when it is the same as the Sun Sign?

    1. Augie, if your sun sign and north node are the same, then it typically means (depending on the rest of the chart) that your unconscious tendency will be to strongly express the Achilles heel of your sun sign, but that with the courage and willpower to be your best self, your sun sign superpowers become extremely powerful and positive for yourself and others. You could say that your secret weapon is right there in plain view waiting for you to pick it up as soon as you’re ready. 🙂

  6. The Cancer part made me cry. My friends did tell me that I was helping them by continuing to talk about it and feel feelings about it. The Aries North Node part is true to. I did spring into action. But recently the Cancer part has won out. Manly, the shell. I can’t read, see or hear too much painful stuff. It makes me want to give up on the world and myself. So right now I am subscribed to things. I sign the occasional petition. My biggest contribution is giving $10 a month each to three different organizations. ACLU, American Refugee Committee, and Planned Parenthood. Hopefully some other people are picking up slack with the environmental organizations 😉

    1. Emily, I was thinking it’s about time for a Part II of this post. Because, yeah, what worked at the outset doesn’t necessarily feel sustainable in the long run. Do you have any opinions on what a healthy strategy for Cancers would be at this point in the game??

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