10 Reasons Not To Date A Virgo


#1 – Your Virgo BF notices EVERYTHING.

When I say “everything” what I mean is: he notices everything that’s wrong. Which leads me to…

#2 – Your Virgo GF wants to fix you.

Her drive for perfection is awesome when she’s tinkering with your car engine or proofreading your cover letter. Sort of awesome when she’s killing herself to be the perfect girlfriend…and considerably less awesome when perfecting you becomes her favorite new hobby. She loves to help—and will help you with your (nonexistent) exercise regimen, your (donut-licious) diet, your (pleasurable! and probably harmless!) addictions, your work ethic (what does that even mean?) and your (cheerfully) pessimistic attitude. All those tiny sloppy edges to your personality? Stand back so this girl can buff ‘em to a shine.

#3 – Your Virgo GF is a workaholic.

Virgo is the insecure worker bee of the Zodiac. So long as your Virgo lover is building a clock or cooking soup for an elderly neighbor, she’s happy and fulfilled, but don’t even try to get that girl to nap in a hammock with you unless your idea of relaxation is listening to the low buzz of her unexpressed to-do list. Trust me, force her to chillax and you’ll be hearing about it in tiny barbs of “if-you’d-just-let-me-do-it-then” for the rest of the week.

#4 – Your Virgo BF is a health nut.

Do you have any idea how much gunk builds up in your colon without a regular lemon juice and cayenne pepper cleanse?

Do you want to hear about it?

Didn’t think so.

#5 – Your Virgo GF is a hypochondriac.

By month six of a Virgo relationship, you’ll know WebMD was invented to ruin your life.

#6 – Your Virgo BF thinks he’s tidy…

…But what he really means is that he created a library-caliber cross-referencing system for his Lego collection. If you point out the llama-sized dust bunnies rolling across his bedroom floor, he’ll look at you with genuine hurt like you’re just saying that to win an argument.

#7 – Your Virgo GF wants you to be the bad guy.

Virgos like to be appreciated and will always take one for the team (so long as the team is appreciative). That means when your GF’s best frenemy is on week three of a two-day couch surf, you’re the one who has to dropkick her duffle from the guestroom window.

#8 – Your Virgo BF complains. A lot.

In a teeny, tiny voice meant to sound casual and even chatty, he wants you to listen to a long list of everyone who crawled up his ass today—his boss, his mother, the hippie neighbor, the hippie neighbor’s dog, etc. Suggest that he might try being a little more assertive or even speaking up to some of these horrible, plan-ruining people—and prepare to be met with a logical explanation of how if your idea were a good solution, he would already have tried it, but here are 20 reasons why it won’t work.

#9 – You have never met anyone so anxious.

It is literally possible to hear a Virgo thinking at night from the other side of a reinforced concrete wall, with earplugs and a white noise machine, under an ocean.

#10 – Your Virgo GF is a wee bit sensitive.

Maybe you figured since she could dish it out, she must be able to take it. You figured wrong. Being mired in impenetrable system of self-criticism and personal goal-setting puts this girl a little on edge. Throw one little “I wish you’d put your underwear in the hamper” and watch her leaning tower topple.

#11 – Did I mention your Virgo BF is anal?

It drives him nuts that this list has exceeded ten items. He plans to write me a helpful note in the comments section in case I made a mistake. Never too late to edit!

#12 – You can’t handle this much devotion.

Through the haze of all the fixing, helping, dissatisfaction and anxiety, you are the alpha dog of Virgo GF’s world, the point of sense and stability in a chaotic, perpetually breaking-down universe. Prepare to be cuddled with–cautious and orderly–abandon.

Ok, but let’s be real. Gentle, kind Virgos are true cutie pies who really show up in their relationships. You’d have to be crazy to not date a Virgo. Want more serious insight into your Virgo sweetheart or your Virgo self? Need advice for managing Virgo anxiety or reaching Virgo goals? Hit me up, people. (And then tell us what you love about the Virgos in your life in the comments section below.)

Who’s your ideal partner—and how can you land ‘em? Find out in a personal 20 minute Love reading! P.s. This is a skype or phone reading for new clients only.

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